40 Days and those who have had abortions

The prayerful focus of the 40 days for Life site has never been intended to hurt women who have already had an abortion. Our prayers are in union with their aching hearts as they struggle with the aftermath of their choice. Our prayers herald the fact that we realize, as do they, just how destructive abortion can be in a woman's life and that we don't want any more women/men suffering such pain. (post-abortion women have expressed this very fact to us that they hope their pain-filled stories will help others NOT to choose abortion)

Why might some say our prayerful presence could 'hurt' post-abortion women. Perhaps it is not our presence praying to end abortion at the VG 40 Day site but seeing the word abortion itself written out! (If we were praying for a better health system, would the concern be the same?) It is sobering how abortion is a choice and legally available in Canada, and many feel that it should be a woman's freedom to choose this procedure, yet the women who come to seek post-abortion healing will not even use the 'a' word when first contacting Project Rachel because, they tell us, it is not a nice word! One of our post-abortion women did not say the 'a' word till our last healing support group session because of her deep denial -- if one does not say the word, then what happened did not really happen and can be shoved deep down inside.

So when does it become a hurtful word for women to see/use? Do they see the word abortion as hurtful before the choice, or during the choice, or after the choice. When does the hurt set in -- before, during or after. They may find the decision to choose abortion a difficult one, yet, if it is legal and a woman's right what down deep inside a woman's heart makes abortion a difficult choice? They may feel the physical hurt during the procedure. (the sounds of the vacuuming are distressing; the excessive abdominal cramps after). They may feel the greatest hurt after the abortion, not because of our presence, but because their very feminine instinct tells them that they would not have chosen abortion if they had not been pregnant and being pregnant means one is expecting a baby. We belittle a woman's intelligence if we think she is not aware of this fact.

Any hurt a post-abortion woman carries has not come from the gentle prayerful 40 days presence but from the abortion choice she has made. Yet this is often too hard for her to admit. Does anyone want to admit hurting themselves by their own choice? I don't. It is always easier, for many of us both pro-life and pro-choice to point the finger at others. It may be easier to blame 40 days for Life for the hurt, because admitting they have inflicted this hurt upon themselves is often too hard to bear. Yet for some to face the Truth seems even harder.

You see these post-abortion women realize that they have lost their child, and for some of our Project Rachel women it was the only child they would ever bear. (a deep hurt). They have never been able to properly grieve the loss of this child because they feel it was their choice that ended their baby's life, so they feel their tears of grief would not be appropriate. (stifling their natural motherly instincts) And they think that they will always be drowning in these emotions because how could anyone get over the fact that she took her child's life. (When they come to Project Rachel they often blurt out, almost right away, that they are murderers or killers -- what a pain to bear.) Yet 40 days has not inflicted this pain.

So when 40 days for Life is present, praying to end abortion, without finger-pointing, name calling, (PRAISE THE LORD) we pray-ers hopefully will keep in mind that our prayers are not only for the life of the precious unborn, but for the precious life of each woman whether she is tremblingly considering abortion, or is now caught up in painful post-abortion emotions. Let our presence be joyfully prayerful and dependent entirely on God's love for each one of us -- pro-life and pro-choice alike.

- posted by Margo from Project Rachel