Last week I was on my way to the VG hospital for a scheduled surgery. I walked past a group of people quietly practising their right of free speech. I noticed their signs and felt an immense guilt. Guilt regarding a question that has bothered me for years yet I can't seem to answer.
Being from a matriarchal culture, having a mother who fights the sex battles front line - challenging the system and working non traditional roles, having respect for women and their bodies...
I have never been so conflicted, so angry about any subject as much as I am regarding abortion.
These quiet people simply stating facts were mocked and harassed by passers by. I did not have the courage to stand by them in quiet solidarity. I am a coward in the face of public opinion and social grace.
Am I angry at the practice - you bet. Am I angry at my ability to remain silent - you BET.
My question? I have never supported abortion, regardless of the means or reasons. How - in this day - is it possible that my tax dollars pay for this disgusting, backwards practice?
People always reference the 6 million Jews and undesirables murdered during the Nazi reign. How many little helpless babies are allowed to be murdered each day? By law and using my dollars? I am guilty of murder by proxy because my tax dollars fund it!
These little wonders could fix this world, cure cancer, bring peace - and we do not give them the chance. What laws of nature, science or God allows this to keep happening?
I'm mad, I'm distressed. What will they say about us in 200 years? Baby killers.
I never condone violence, would never infringe on any person's rights. I am compelled to help. Can you suggest?
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Email from an anonymous supporter
On Saturday, I was informed of this email that was sent to a participant of 40 Days from a man he used to work with. Sometimes our greatest support comes from the least expected places. I am grateful that this man shared his thoughts with another and permitted me to put them online.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Struggles of the Post-Abortion Woman
Regarding our presence at 40 days for life.
Why would a post-abortion woman choose to say that our presence at 40 days for life is hurtful to her?
-- because she is hurting already and may need to point at something ‘outside’ herself to blame for her hurt as she strives to relieve, or justify, her post-abortion emotions.
-- because she is hurting already due to the fact that society let her down. When the word abortion was used ‘out there’ in society, it was just a legal term, but now, for a post-abortion woman it is personal with ramifications that the legal choice never, ever alluded to.
-- because she is hurting already having realized, as one of our Project Rachel women stated, “abortion is a lie.”
Abortion stopped the pregnancy but not her emotional attachment to her child.
-- because she is hurting already due to the fact that society has discounted her intelligence.
She knows it was a baby – a human being, she knows it was her child and yet who, in society in general, is willing to talk to her about this?
Project Rachel is.
-- because she is hurting already since her friends have told her she did the ‘right thing’, and yet she knows now, through experiencing her pain and guilt, that this is not true.
-- because she is hurting already because she has been struggling to justify how Canada can offer the legal right to choose abortion, yet, from her post-abortion experiences she realizes that abortion is not a right choice for women.
-- because she is hurting already knowing the truth - that there is no going back and undoing what was done.
because she is hurting already and may be reluctant to admit that those of us praying to end abortion are not there to remove her right to choose, but rather to encourage women to make a right choice.
-- because she is hurting already feeling she will be trapped in this hurt and pain the rest of her life.
One of our Project Rachel women from our support group in 2010 told us recently that when she would hear the word abortion before her healing, she felt like she had been punched in the stomach, but now she no longer has any fearful reaction to the abortion word. And she has named and claimed her dear baby and knows she is his mother!!
From Project Rachel
a post abortion support group
Project Rachel
Why would a post-abortion woman choose to say that our presence at 40 days for life is hurtful to her?
-- because she is hurting already and may need to point at something ‘outside’ herself to blame for her hurt as she strives to relieve, or justify, her post-abortion emotions.
-- because she is hurting already due to the fact that society let her down. When the word abortion was used ‘out there’ in society, it was just a legal term, but now, for a post-abortion woman it is personal with ramifications that the legal choice never, ever alluded to.
-- because she is hurting already having realized, as one of our Project Rachel women stated, “abortion is a lie.”
Abortion stopped the pregnancy but not her emotional attachment to her child.
-- because she is hurting already due to the fact that society has discounted her intelligence.
She knows it was a baby – a human being, she knows it was her child and yet who, in society in general, is willing to talk to her about this?
Project Rachel is.
-- because she is hurting already since her friends have told her she did the ‘right thing’, and yet she knows now, through experiencing her pain and guilt, that this is not true.
-- because she is hurting already because she has been struggling to justify how Canada can offer the legal right to choose abortion, yet, from her post-abortion experiences she realizes that abortion is not a right choice for women.
-- because she is hurting already knowing the truth - that there is no going back and undoing what was done.
because she is hurting already and may be reluctant to admit that those of us praying to end abortion are not there to remove her right to choose, but rather to encourage women to make a right choice.
-- because she is hurting already feeling she will be trapped in this hurt and pain the rest of her life.
One of our Project Rachel women from our support group in 2010 told us recently that when she would hear the word abortion before her healing, she felt like she had been punched in the stomach, but now she no longer has any fearful reaction to the abortion word. And she has named and claimed her dear baby and knows she is his mother!!
From Project Rachel
a post abortion support group
Project Rachel
40 Days and those who have had abortions
The prayerful focus of the 40 days for Life site has never been intended to hurt women who have already had an abortion. Our prayers are in union with their aching hearts as they struggle with the aftermath of their choice. Our prayers herald the fact that we realize, as do they, just how destructive abortion can be in a woman's life and that we don't want any more women/men suffering such pain. (post-abortion women have expressed this very fact to us that they hope their pain-filled stories will help others NOT to choose abortion)
Why might some say our prayerful presence could 'hurt' post-abortion women. Perhaps it is not our presence praying to end abortion at the VG 40 Day site but seeing the word abortion itself written out! (If we were praying for a better health system, would the concern be the same?) It is sobering how abortion is a choice and legally available in Canada, and many feel that it should be a woman's freedom to choose this procedure, yet the women who come to seek post-abortion healing will not even use the 'a' word when first contacting Project Rachel because, they tell us, it is not a nice word! One of our post-abortion women did not say the 'a' word till our last healing support group session because of her deep denial -- if one does not say the word, then what happened did not really happen and can be shoved deep down inside.
So when does it become a hurtful word for women to see/use? Do they see the word abortion as hurtful before the choice, or during the choice, or after the choice. When does the hurt set in -- before, during or after. They may find the decision to choose abortion a difficult one, yet, if it is legal and a woman's right what down deep inside a woman's heart makes abortion a difficult choice? They may feel the physical hurt during the procedure. (the sounds of the vacuuming are distressing; the excessive abdominal cramps after). They may feel the greatest hurt after the abortion, not because of our presence, but because their very feminine instinct tells them that they would not have chosen abortion if they had not been pregnant and being pregnant means one is expecting a baby. We belittle a woman's intelligence if we think she is not aware of this fact.
Any hurt a post-abortion woman carries has not come from the gentle prayerful 40 days presence but from the abortion choice she has made. Yet this is often too hard for her to admit. Does anyone want to admit hurting themselves by their own choice? I don't. It is always easier, for many of us both pro-life and pro-choice to point the finger at others. It may be easier to blame 40 days for Life for the hurt, because admitting they have inflicted this hurt upon themselves is often too hard to bear. Yet for some to face the Truth seems even harder.
You see these post-abortion women realize that they have lost their child, and for some of our Project Rachel women it was the only child they would ever bear. (a deep hurt). They have never been able to properly grieve the loss of this child because they feel it was their choice that ended their baby's life, so they feel their tears of grief would not be appropriate. (stifling their natural motherly instincts) And they think that they will always be drowning in these emotions because how could anyone get over the fact that she took her child's life. (When they come to Project Rachel they often blurt out, almost right away, that they are murderers or killers -- what a pain to bear.) Yet 40 days has not inflicted this pain.
So when 40 days for Life is present, praying to end abortion, without finger-pointing, name calling, (PRAISE THE LORD) we pray-ers hopefully will keep in mind that our prayers are not only for the life of the precious unborn, but for the precious life of each woman whether she is tremblingly considering abortion, or is now caught up in painful post-abortion emotions. Let our presence be joyfully prayerful and dependent entirely on God's love for each one of us -- pro-life and pro-choice alike.
- posted by Margo from Project Rachel
Why might some say our prayerful presence could 'hurt' post-abortion women. Perhaps it is not our presence praying to end abortion at the VG 40 Day site but seeing the word abortion itself written out! (If we were praying for a better health system, would the concern be the same?) It is sobering how abortion is a choice and legally available in Canada, and many feel that it should be a woman's freedom to choose this procedure, yet the women who come to seek post-abortion healing will not even use the 'a' word when first contacting Project Rachel because, they tell us, it is not a nice word! One of our post-abortion women did not say the 'a' word till our last healing support group session because of her deep denial -- if one does not say the word, then what happened did not really happen and can be shoved deep down inside.
So when does it become a hurtful word for women to see/use? Do they see the word abortion as hurtful before the choice, or during the choice, or after the choice. When does the hurt set in -- before, during or after. They may find the decision to choose abortion a difficult one, yet, if it is legal and a woman's right what down deep inside a woman's heart makes abortion a difficult choice? They may feel the physical hurt during the procedure. (the sounds of the vacuuming are distressing; the excessive abdominal cramps after). They may feel the greatest hurt after the abortion, not because of our presence, but because their very feminine instinct tells them that they would not have chosen abortion if they had not been pregnant and being pregnant means one is expecting a baby. We belittle a woman's intelligence if we think she is not aware of this fact.
Any hurt a post-abortion woman carries has not come from the gentle prayerful 40 days presence but from the abortion choice she has made. Yet this is often too hard for her to admit. Does anyone want to admit hurting themselves by their own choice? I don't. It is always easier, for many of us both pro-life and pro-choice to point the finger at others. It may be easier to blame 40 days for Life for the hurt, because admitting they have inflicted this hurt upon themselves is often too hard to bear. Yet for some to face the Truth seems even harder.
You see these post-abortion women realize that they have lost their child, and for some of our Project Rachel women it was the only child they would ever bear. (a deep hurt). They have never been able to properly grieve the loss of this child because they feel it was their choice that ended their baby's life, so they feel their tears of grief would not be appropriate. (stifling their natural motherly instincts) And they think that they will always be drowning in these emotions because how could anyone get over the fact that she took her child's life. (When they come to Project Rachel they often blurt out, almost right away, that they are murderers or killers -- what a pain to bear.) Yet 40 days has not inflicted this pain.
So when 40 days for Life is present, praying to end abortion, without finger-pointing, name calling, (PRAISE THE LORD) we pray-ers hopefully will keep in mind that our prayers are not only for the life of the precious unborn, but for the precious life of each woman whether she is tremblingly considering abortion, or is now caught up in painful post-abortion emotions. Let our presence be joyfully prayerful and dependent entirely on God's love for each one of us -- pro-life and pro-choice alike.
- posted by Margo from Project Rachel
Friday, November 4, 2011
Are We Shaming Women?
Twice today, I have heard the allegation that we at 40 Days for Life are shaming women who have had an abortion. One young man was quite angry as he concluded that his girlfriend tonight was going to be very upset because we would be reminding her of her abortion five years ago.
And the blog,ExistInspire posts:
These are the young women from the SMU Women's Centre who have come frequently to pass out pro-choice literature to passersby and to support those who have to walk past us.
I think we at 40 Days for Life need to make a response.
We do not set out to "shame women" for their past choice of an abortion. Our signs are not judgmental signs in that they say those who choose abortion are morally corrupt. They simply state "Pray for an end to abortion".
In an ideal world, wouldn't everyone, even those who are pro-choice, wish there was an end to abortion?
Our presence of prayer in public is for two purposes: first to witness to the sanctity of life to our culture, which does not recognize it any longer and to lift our heartfelt prayers to God to bring an end to an evil that we see destroying the fabric of our society.
If people are upset by the signs that put prayer and abortion together, I think that tells us that something deep inside them is feeling conflicted about this. Shame and guilt are meant to bring one to a recognition of something wrong that one has done; if women are feeling shame and guilt, perhaps they need to look at their actions and ask themselves if they have done wrong. Some will say no, and feel quite justified in that. But many will feel badly, because they wish they hadn't had that abortion, they are holding that pain inside - a pain that is calling out to God to forgive them.
I realise that many who read this totally disagree with that, but that is our position as believers. God creates human life, and we have no right to destroy it, no matter what circumstances.
In this world of "rights" and "entitlements", someone has to stand for the one who has no voice in this at all - the child in the womb. What used to be the safest place in the world has now become the most dangerous, and one's existence is dependent upon the decision of another. Every abortion kills a living human being. That is the injustice that brings us out in public to pray.
For those who are feeling shame as they pass us, I would suggest that they look at the resources for post-abortion healing:
Project Rachel
Silent No More Awareness
And the blog,ExistInspire posts:
Reaction to 40 Days of Life: Organizations like 40 Days for Life, who are currently stationed outside the Victoria General Hospital, intimidate and shame women who are making an often difficult choice. 40 Days for Life seeks to shut down abortion providers and achieve the “end of abortion in America.” These organizations do not recognize the systemic gendered oppression that often contributes to a woman’s choice to terminate a pregnancy.
These are the young women from the SMU Women's Centre who have come frequently to pass out pro-choice literature to passersby and to support those who have to walk past us.
I think we at 40 Days for Life need to make a response.
We do not set out to "shame women" for their past choice of an abortion. Our signs are not judgmental signs in that they say those who choose abortion are morally corrupt. They simply state "Pray for an end to abortion".
In an ideal world, wouldn't everyone, even those who are pro-choice, wish there was an end to abortion?
Our presence of prayer in public is for two purposes: first to witness to the sanctity of life to our culture, which does not recognize it any longer and to lift our heartfelt prayers to God to bring an end to an evil that we see destroying the fabric of our society.
If people are upset by the signs that put prayer and abortion together, I think that tells us that something deep inside them is feeling conflicted about this. Shame and guilt are meant to bring one to a recognition of something wrong that one has done; if women are feeling shame and guilt, perhaps they need to look at their actions and ask themselves if they have done wrong. Some will say no, and feel quite justified in that. But many will feel badly, because they wish they hadn't had that abortion, they are holding that pain inside - a pain that is calling out to God to forgive them.
I realise that many who read this totally disagree with that, but that is our position as believers. God creates human life, and we have no right to destroy it, no matter what circumstances.
In this world of "rights" and "entitlements", someone has to stand for the one who has no voice in this at all - the child in the womb. What used to be the safest place in the world has now become the most dangerous, and one's existence is dependent upon the decision of another. Every abortion kills a living human being. That is the injustice that brings us out in public to pray.
For those who are feeling shame as they pass us, I would suggest that they look at the resources for post-abortion healing:
Project Rachel
Silent No More Awareness
The Case for Pro-Life
Those who support abortion still use the argument that the unborn are not human as "born" people are human, thereby justifying abortion. Often sentience is used as a criteria for deciding whether a life has value. One of the commenters here asked the question "why is being sentient an any more or less valuable trait than being, say, six feet tall?... Is it not utilitarian relativism to value being sentient over other traits?" Indeed, why choose that one characteristic to give life a value?
I think one of the most convincing biographies of someone turned pro-life has to be the one of Dr. Bernard Nathanson. Nathanson was one of the founders of NARAL Pro-Choice America and he ran the largest abortion clinic in the country in New York City. He performed over 75,000 abortions, including one on his own child. Nathanson wrote his auto-biography in the book The Hand of God, but I found his account of the early days of NARAL in Aborting America to be the far more telling book. He wrote that book while he was still an abortionist and it recounts his gradual change of mind on the abortion issue. A must-read for someone who really wants to know the history of the abortion issue in North America.
Perhaps this quote would be of interest to those who think that being pro-life has to do with religious belief. It is true that most of us on this side are church-goers but it is not necessarily so.
I think one of the most convincing biographies of someone turned pro-life has to be the one of Dr. Bernard Nathanson. Nathanson was one of the founders of NARAL Pro-Choice America and he ran the largest abortion clinic in the country in New York City. He performed over 75,000 abortions, including one on his own child. Nathanson wrote his auto-biography in the book The Hand of God, but I found his account of the early days of NARAL in Aborting America to be the far more telling book. He wrote that book while he was still an abortionist and it recounts his gradual change of mind on the abortion issue. A must-read for someone who really wants to know the history of the abortion issue in North America.
Perhaps this quote would be of interest to those who think that being pro-life has to do with religious belief. It is true that most of us on this side are church-goers but it is not necessarily so.
My switch to pro-life had nothing to do with religion. I changed my mind based on fetoscopies and ultrasound studies. Once we had ultrasound in place, we could study the fetus and see that it was a member of our community. If you don't do that, you are just a creature of political ideology. In 1970, there were approximately 1,100 articles on the functioning of the fetus. By 1990, there were 22,000. The data piled up swiftly and opened a window into the womb.- from The Hand of God, by Bernard Nathanson, M.D.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
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